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Bill Dearmore's Page
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- Are you an ex-Christian?
- yes
- Are you currently involved in any religion?
- no
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My first 21 years were immersed deeply in Roman Catholic faith and practice. I was an altar boy at Guadalupe Church and went to St. Joseph's Academy. I was in a Catholic school from the third grade until I completed my first degree. I lived in constant guilt, self-abuse and spiritual pain. Leaving the practice preceded losing the faith by about 10 years. The habits were so deeply ingrained that even after I was consciously, decidedly and clearly a non-believer, I could still be brought to tears with the viewing of a mass on TV celebrating the feast of the Virgen of Guadalupe. There are cultural, family and social memories woven in that cause old feelings to come up. My disconnection with religion is difficult because so many early memories of family and growing up are so immersed in faith, and going to church and the family celebrations connected to religous feasts. But, since all my closest relatives are dead, and I don't have to face any family reactions and arguments, I have much freedom to explore the thinking, the literature, and the dialogues as on this site...all reinforcing my view of the world. I wish I had a fire in the gut and the energy to balance out what burns on the side of the crazy believers.
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Just came on board and would like to connect directly with as many active members as possible. The 50 limit is just too slow for me.
This website is very exciting to me, eXRC who started my recovery 40 years ago.