Hello intelligent people!

[Nyannon]

I received my first question about myself on my page and thought, “hey, my answers can be my blog so others can get to know me a little so here we go:
Your background also fundamentalist christianity?
Well, my father became religious all of a sudden while in the military and was overseas. So began the crazy religion train of my once normal family, lol. Started with Jehovah Witness, then Pentecostal then even scarier...the holiness church. Fire and brimstone and other poltergeist things. That was weird. When I went to college I was still searching for this wonderful god because I thought I did every thing I was suppose to plus leading children choir, bible studies, singing in the choir and more bible study. I’ve even danced the “holy ghost” dance. The funny thing about that was I was VERY conscious of that particular act. Well hell, everything. I would psych myself up and wait for the perfect opportunity to “jump in” and get my workout on. It was a great release of energy and fun. I soon learned at college when I go the gay club I have just as much fun. Anyway, while in college I officially came out of the closet and increased my search for god because the bible said I will go to h. e. double hockey sticks. I even had one girl try to “save” me when I was trying to study for an exam. She was concerned about my sexuality. She got me too fired up from cursing her out I couldn’t study and flunked the exam. Lol. I tried going to a catholic church. That hurt my knees. I tried Buddhism. That hurt my knees to and because I was developing ADHD, lol chanting was a lost cause. When I finished my military term I found a church whose member’s were predominately gay. Nondenominational. Again I couldn’t figure out the excitement of this religion when you are gay. It was weird. After church we go the bar and live normal lives. Not speaking for all MCC churches. Just the one I went to. It was more like a pick up joint and a great place for gossip of who broke up with who and who is available (because where else are you going to find other gay people). So I said fuck it.
How long have you been an ex?
I’ve been an ex for about three years now but seriously I’ve been an ex god believer for about one month. And it’s been great.
Why Wiccan? Is that a belief system?
Wicca is so diverse. Some people actually use it with a belief system such as actually believing in gods and goddesses and fairies and other funky things. I do not consider Wicca (for me) as a religion. It is more of a way of life and something fun. I’m into herbs, crystals and oils for natural healing. Basically, just using their energy to complete a task. I don’t believe in actual gods and goddesses but I understand the duality of the planet and the nature within. And I understand that some apply names to that duality to make things more concrete for the purpose of doing something. Some also worship, some don’t.
Do you have non-religious contacts/friends in NC or are you in isolation?
Surprisingly in the freakish bible belt, there is a large group of atheist. I’ve joined a couple of their groups and have gone to presentations of Darwin during his 200th birthday. That was cool. And now this month we will be having a cookout and watching “Religious” and another movie about crazy Christians. Isolation? No. Our families (my partner’s and mine) are very religious and we are ourselves but have not come out of the god closet. Not really a big deal at this moment. But I will not deny my rational understand if asked.
Of course there is a lot more to my fundamental life and travels so anyone can ask away!

On a personal note. I wisheto find other intelligent people I can have conversations and swap ideas and understandings. They are few and far in between where I live and work. I am so glad to have found this site. Now I can stop talking to myself.

[Aimee McDowd]

I know exactly what you mean when you say that you are Wiccan but do not believe in gods or religion. I had a hard time explaining why I felt drawn to Wicca but still had no desire to worship anything until I read a book called "The Circle Within." Its a good read and the author explains that to a pagan, the idea of deity isn't an abstract personage, but something transcendent that exists in everything. The sun, the earth, the elements all very much exist and all very much are necessary for life. We acknowledge this to make better use of our time here. Its not a faith, its just a way of looking at the universe as it actually is.

And your last paragraph - couldn't agree more! My husband is in the military, and while I met one young pagan woman, she has since moved away and I haven't found anyone else even willing to be friends with me. Its not that people are overtly shunning me or anything, there is just so little common ground between us, especially other mothers (who might have been rational at one point but something about Christians becoming parents makes them crazy).

That was just my rambling way of saying, I'm new here and look forward to reading more of what you have to say. :)